The Demonization of “Gayism”

“In Africa,lesbian women receive fair judgement compared to the gay men” such hypocrisy.

This is a subject I’ve been wanting to talk about. But before I get into it,I’d like to highlight the definition of some terms that’d come up frequently in this read.

GAYISM; a rarely used, often non-standard, and sometimes derogatory term referring to homosexuality or, in certain contexts, a perceived ideology promoting it.

LESBIANISM; the quality or characteristic in a woman of being sexually or romantically attracted to other women; lesbian nature or identity.

GAY; The most common term for men who are physically and emotionally attracted to other men.

KITO; is a slang term used in Nigeria to refer to the act of extorting money or other valuables from gay men by threatening to expose or out them to their families, friends, or community.It is a form of homophobic violence that is often used to control and intimidate gay men.

DL; most commonly stands for "

down low," a slang term for keeping something secret, discreet, or confidential. It originated to describe men who publicly present as straight but secretly have sexual relationships with other men.

Now that we are familiar with these terms,we can proceed.

I live in Nigeria so majority of my research was done using the statistics and occurrences here.Growing up,it was obvious that the society frowned against same sex relationships/marriages.Now that I’m grown up,it’s still the same but I see it a little differently.The older generation frown on anything that is related to same sex relationships but the younger generation specifically despise the “GAY MEN”

For the older generation,they believe that same sex relationship is a sin,others believe that it’s some kind of an evil spirit or possession even and it can be prayed away(which of course brings us to religion). The Christian religion mainly because I was a Christian so I can speak on this.The Christian religion is completely against homosexuality,they do not subscribe to it and Christians are quick to quote the Bible if asked why.But the thing is,the Bible itself in Exodus 20 out-listed the 10 commandments given to God by Moses at the mountain.The 10 commandments includes “thou shall not kill,thou shall not steal,commit adultery” amongst the so many other commandments and rules in the Bible. But the thing is,Christians..even devoted Christians always fall short of the glory of God.They commit sin and still ask God for mercy.There’s no human being living without sin. Since that is the case,why is homosexuality treated like a sin above other sins?? Why do Christians draw the line at homosexuality?? Christians will welcome a man who rape a 6 year old girl into the church but will cast out a gay man. The Bible always says “thou shall not judge” Christians by casting out the gay man are also judging which is also a sin. You are only human but you have the power to tell what sin is convinient to live with and which isn’t???

Just recently,a young gay man was KITOED in Portharcourt,Nigeria.He was lured to a hotel room,was beaten by some other men and thrown off a high balcony.A life was taken! An innocent life! A young man going about his business who wasn’t a threat to the community or society at large was killed for no just cause,all because he identified himself to be a gay man.And you’d think that humanity still exist but no,people were rejoicing,mostly men were happy that his life was cut short and oh,guess what?? On the day of his funeral,a group of men hosted a party and celebrated while chanting his name and mocking him. In some cases,other DL men kito openly gay men.They lure the gay men to hotel rooms,rape them,make videos of them,threaten to expose them and then begin to threaten them for as long as it lasts.Which often lead these gay men to self harm or even sucide.Let’s not forget the men that want their girlfriends to wear a strap on and put it in their backs.What do we call that?? How are you DL but you despise openly gay men?? How are you are Christian and you take a life?? And rejoice while at it??Where exactly is our humanity?? Where do we draw the line?? Why take a life you can’t give??

For the younger generation,it’ll be spoken about based off gender.

For young men,they also despise gay men.Majority of the Kito cases that happen are carried out by young men but surprisingly,a lot of young men are DL or even in the closest.But out in public when the topic come up,you’ll see them hyperventilating because (1) of toxic masculinity (2) they are scared to accept their true self (3) also scared of societal consequences.When it comes to men generally,they are hard got hypocritical about same sex relationships.Men like lesbians and bisexual women more than you think.They love to date bi women,they love to watch women make out,they watch lesbian porn,I mean..they mostly see nothing with it and if anything,they get excited for it.But my question is “why is it a different reaction or approach to the gay men?” MEN ARE COMFORTABLE WITH LESBIANS BUT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH GAY MEN! Only very few percentage of men,in reality about 4% of them in general have a problem with lesbians and still even the 4% most likely love bisexual women.Do you now understand the hypocrisy I speak about???

For young women,I believe they are more flexible.Which is why you see that almost every gay man has a female bestfriend or a group of female friends who accept him,don’t judge in and even make him feel super comfortable. I have to say that a percentage of the younger women still do not fully accept gay men or homosexuality in general but truly it’s only a very little percent.

In general,homosexuality is still not acceptable in most countries in Africa and in some countries,you are looking to get up to 14 years in prison if caught.

I believe that homosexuality is a natural phenomenon.It is neither a curse nor an evil spirit.I personally do not have the power to choose or potentially change my sexuality,I’ve tried but it’s never happening.So,if I cannot change my sexuality,a gay man would also not be able to.WE DO NOT HAVE CONTROL OVER OUR SEXUALITY.I also do not believe that homosexuality is unusual,I think it’s very much usual and should be considered in our society.

We should be able to tolerate one another despite our sexuality,race,skin color and other major differences.You don’t exactly have to be gay but let the gay people live.They are human as well and above all,humanity should be treated equally.

Homosexual behavior has been documented in over 1500 species,including mammals,birds and insects.Giraffes,Bonobos,Penguins even Lions are key examples of animals that practice same sex behaviors.If it’s unusual,then who taught them how to do it?? How did they learn?? If homosexuality is an evil spirit,has it also possessed over 1500 species??

Who are we to blame?? Religion?? Pure wickedness or even ignorance?? I honestly do not have an answer to this but it’s such a sad reality here in Africa and I hope that I get to witness when it gets better because truly…THIS IS NOT IT!

What are your thoughts on this read?? Let me know in the comments.And also,let me know what topic you’d like me to write about next!

Bye for now!